Confessions
by bkwrmgrl87
Summary: Wherein James confesses his feelings for Lily, to her, but she has a Confession of her own... Thanks for reading! bkwrmgrl87


It was early in the wee hours of the morning when seventeen year-old James Potter had woken up from a nightmare that, as the minutes and sleepiness slipped away, quickly became harder to recall the longer he tried to remember what it had been about. He had decided to nip into the kitchen for a soothing warm cup of cocoa that would hopefully help him settle down enough to sleep again. With his Invisibility Cloak in hand he crept silently downstairs and headed down to the portrait hole.

James automatically scanned the area before stepping completely into the room. As he silently entered the common room his eyes caught a particular shade of red that made him pause.

Lying haphazardly across the small settee with her hair fanned around in disarray, James's heart pounded ridiculously fast at the mere sight of the young woman he found before him.

Lily Evans, a fellow Gryffindor seventh year, happened to be one of the most sought after girl in Hogwarts. Unbeknownst to her, many a boy had at one time or another, developed a crush on the beautiful red-head, but no one ever seemed to have the courage to approach the prefect. Or succeeded in procuring this most elusive Gryffindor seventh year.

Cocoa temporally forgotten, James crept closer to the prone figure. Beautiful, he thought absently. Coincidentally the almost full moon cast a pearly glow on Lily's profile, providing him a clear view of her most striking features. In the ethereal light James closely examined her dark auburn hair and the smattering of light freckles that dotted the bridge of her small and delicate nose.

But her most remarkable feature in his opinion was one that at present was the one thing he could not see. Lily Evans had the most magnificent shade of emerald green eyes that he had ever seen, let alone notice. Watching Lily frequently as he had, he knew they sometimes seemed to subtly darken whenever he did something utterly stupid, which had always been one of the things about her that had fascinated him the most, or how her eyes sparkled with boundless ecstasy whenever she managed to complete a perfect potion concoction in Potions.

This had to be the closest he had ever gotten to the untouchable Lily Evans that he had ever been. Whenever he had ever managed to get this close it was only a brief moment for him, for she would either hex or give him a good tongue lashing for doing something idiotic. He sat on the table sitting directly in front of _her_ and that too small couch she was sleeping on. Silently he watched her slumber for so long that he had quite forgotten why he had come down to the common room in the first place.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he decided to leave before either Lily woke up or someone caught him staring and thinking the wrong thing about the situation altogether. He paused with his hands braced on his knees thinking, and assessing whether he was brave enough to do the unthinkable. Would anyone know anyway? If he did it carefully enough even Lily wouldn't even know what he had done.

Nodding his head decisively, James leaned down and gently pressed his lips lightly to Lily's forehead.

To his mortifying horror, Lily seemed to be waking up from that one bit of contact from him. It shouldn't have been enough to warrant her attention! His mind a whirling blur he quickly and silently bolted from his spot on the table and might have made a clean getaway had he not failed to notice an abandoned game of Gobstones that had been left unattended between the common room tables and the entrance to the boys' staircase entryway.

Landing with a loud thud, he froze lying on his stomach waiting for a curse to come flying his way. He felt something silky beneath him and noticed that he was still clutching the Invisibility Cloak clutched in his left hand. As he quickly donned the cloak he heard Lily sit up and say hoarsely, "Who's there?"

Standing up silently he turned around and faced Lily's stiff form, her wand aloft, pointing surprisingly close to where he stood completely invisible. He noted that if she would to fire off a curse it would but just above the navel, not the best place to be hit when a powerful witch was in control.

"Hello? Who's ever made that terrible noise come out and face me and I might consider not deducting points for being out of bed at a most inappropriate time for a student." She said, still not lowering her wand.

Moving silently from years of practice, James walked to the bottom of the staircase, waited until he was sure Lily wasn't looking in his direction he quickly whipped off the cloak and stuffing it deeply into his pocket. Saying a silent prayer, hoping his lie would be convincing enough, he took a breath and said smoothly, "Sorry to alarm you, I er… haven't slept well tonight and slipped on my way down. Er… must have been louder than I thought."

Stepping over the offending game he made his way back to Lily with his hands raised in the universal sign of surrender, he sheepishly grinned at her. His eyes slid down and focused on a point just above her eyebrows, not daring to make eye contact, since knowing full well the effect _that_would have on his already racing heart.

"Oh, it's only you Potter, please be more careful! I thought I was going to be attacked or some such thing." She whispered with a contradictory unworried wave of the hand, still sitting upright next her homework laden table.

"Sorry, it's just me… did you fall asleep studying?" he asked motioning to the book strewn table.

Lily looked over to where his attention had strayed and gave him a confirmative nod.

"Ah, well, guess I'll go back upstairs. Good night Lily."

He turned and started for the safety of his four-poster, but before he could take a few initial steps a quiet voice stopped him.

"Potter. You came down just now? You're positive you _just_ came downstairs, right?"

Still in front of the steps he winced and then faced _her_ again.

"Yes, just came down and now I am going back up. I won't be bothering you any longer."

Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously but only muttered under her breath, "Hmm, I thought I felt… I guess it was only… no, it _cannot_ be possible."

"I'm sorry?" James said quietly, what was she talking about now?

"Hmm? Oh no, just talking to myself."

With that she turned, placing her feet firmly on the ground and quickly collected her school work and placed it neatly into her satchel. James watched her again, though this time both he and Lily were consciously aware of the fact and he felt the tension in the air thick as custard.

Finally after what felt like an age Lily stood up, knees popping, and said sourly, "I thought you were on your way up?"

"Oh, yes, I ah… I am,"

"Wow Potter, that has to be one of the shortest sentence I've ever heard from you. I thought that smooth was your only way of communication with the opposite sex. You haven't even once touched your hair since the time you came into the room. What changed that?" she asked, in a tone that James hoped was sincere.

He walked close enough to be able to stand in front of her, with only two feet between them he said, "I think I… ah…let's just say that someone we know made me want to do better and _be_better." _And that someone was__**you**__. _He added silently.

Not only that, but after the death of his parents he had felt himself changing from those sets of trials too. And many other things too had had a hand in his progressive and gradual state of maturity, but perhaps that was what growing up truly mean – some things are harder to find definite measurements but the results noticeable.

Leaning down, staring into the most captivating eyes James was suddenly overcome by a strong invisible force that shoved every possible consequence to his actions from his mind and kissed the girl that filled his every thought. The girl he _loved_ more than he had any right to.

Fireworks burst to life in his head and a shock of lightning must have hit him as he kissed _Lily Evans__! _The only thought he entertained was, _why didn't I bother not being a prick for one second and kiss her?_

At first Lily seemed to stiffen in shock but then she responded in kind and they kissed for many blissfully wonderful minutes. Not long enough, James thought as they broke apart, still quite dazed at his courage to actually admit his true feelings to the young woman he had fancied for most of his adolescent life.

Breathing hard, he took a step away from Lily and waited for either a slap or a curse from her but it never came. Lily looked up and stared into James's eyes without blinking. She didn't break contact for several moments, the world seemed to stop, and no amount of noise could have broken their concentration if they had wanted to. Finally it was Lily who spoke first.

"What… what did you that for?" she said looking utterly bamboozled.

"I'm sorry it was an impulse, I couldn't seem to help myself. It may seem a bit forward just now, and it might shock you to know but I have loved you for a long time. I haven't said anything to you until now, and I know it may seem sudden but I have watched you, asked you out, and have been rejected by you time and time again even when I've known the reply you would give. I don't know how you feel about me and I don't know how well you will take this, but I love you. It's scary and illogical since we are both still young and in school, but I… I think I really truly love you." _Wasn't that the most sickening thing he'd ever said in his entire life or what? What was he turning into…?_

Bamboozled didn't seem to cover the look of astonishment that was plainly on Lily's face. It was minutes before her complexion coloured and confusion was suddenly washed away by that ecstasy of happiness shone in her eyes. She took a steadying breath and spoke at long last.

"I can't believe what just happened. Not only did you k… kiss me, but you just professed your love for me. Especially taking into account that it's just passed three a.m. it isn't something easily taken in at once." She paused to take a breath and lightly sit on the edge of the settee she had just vacated minutes before. Mutely she patted the seat next to her, indicating for James to sit down too.

"For years you have made it plain your affection for me, and whether or not all the pestering have been sincere or not I have watched with suspicion of your true feelings for me. For many a time I thought perhaps it was only a passing fancy, but as of late I have come to the conclusion that you have been in earnest this last year, and it has taken some growth on my part that I am able to say what I will say now. James," here she paused. "James, having been working with you this last year as both Head boy and girl, I've seen a more serious side of you you've never shown to me in the past. Whether it was the passing of your parents or just the natural progression of maturity I've seen you at your best since the start of term, and to tell you the truth I've seen many admirable traits since then. Not only have you been responsible of your duties I've also seen the compassion shown to younger pupils as you help them as someone with experience.

"I didn't always like you James, as I'm sure you've noticed, but in all my years at Hogwarts I have never hated you. Sure there were many times where all I've wanted to do is bash you over the head for your sometimes cruel humiliation of Severus, and certainly I've made it clear your obsessive compulsion to ask me to be your girlfriend was too much at times, I'd still never held high contempt for you. And this year has shown me why that was. It was because deep inside here," here she took her hand and placed it firmly over his heart. "is a heart of pure gold under the façade you put over to cover it."

"It is that façade that I've seen through that gave me a chance this year to open up myself for self evaluating of my feelings that I've come to have an attachment to you too. Not only are you strong from strenuous activities you have with your friends, good looking, you also have, as I've found, the most entertaining hair in all of Hogwarts." Lily took her and away from his chest and ran it lightly over the crown of his head, giving the already messy locks an even messier look.

"So silky," she whispered.

"What are you saying Lily? What does all that mean?" James asked, trying to quickly absorb all that she'd said about him.

"What I'm saying is that I've had to grow, and see and observe the new man and try and get to know this new person, not letting my previous knowledge of you entrap me into thinking you will _always_ stay that way. You _have _changed and I'm proud of that, but what I'm really saying is that I believe I'm falling for you as well. But why..?"

James gulped. Did she just say what he thought she said? She fancied him too…?

"But why, what?" he asked apprehensively.

"But after kissing me why haven't you asked to be my boyfriend yet?"

"Wha… what?" James gaped openly at her.

Lily giggled softly. The sound was music to his ears.

"James, I want it as well as you do! Ask me the question you have always asked me, and for the first time you might receive a different answer that you have gotten in the past."

"I can't believe this is real, I must still be dreaming." He said almost inaudibly. "Lily, if you want. I mean … you just said. I mean… Lily, could I have the honour of being your boyfriend?"

"I was wondering when you'd get the nerves to ask me. If it had been any other year, except maybe first and second year, you would have asked me times over before now. It certainly hasn't played out how I thought this year would go, and I'm pleased how differently it has been. I think that this is going to be best year together." She said as she smiled that electric smile of hers.

Those emerald eyes glimmered in the moonlight and almost without thought James leaned forward and kissed his girlfriend, _Lily Evans_. It was absolute bliss. Grinning widely, he pulled away and examined Lily's face for her reaction. It may have been the poor light giving it an unearthly glow but all James could see was happiness in its most perfect state. Her eyes gleaming and radiant smile, James couldn't recall a time where her expression matched this level of exhilaration, but perhaps that was stroking his ego a bit too much. Whatever she was feeling couldn't compare to his happiness, however much it was, for unlike her he had been waiting years for a relationship to blossom between the two of them. He couldn't remember a time when she hadn't been in the forefront of his mind when he thought of potential girlfriends. It had always been Lily for him, and hopefully if he kept his head on straight it wouldn't just be a school romance for them… _whoa, going a bit too far there mate!_

How serious did he think this relationship would be? Was he really considering marrying straight out of Hogwarts? To keep these and other questions from his mind he grasped Lily's hand and pulled her gently up from the couch, swinging her bag onto his shoulder as he went.

James and Lily stood silently in front of girls' stairway for another minute or two. James dared not try them, remembering with a shudder when he'd tried _that_ before. Lily hadn't been too impressed when he not only had ended up lying with his face full of carpet at the base of the stairs, but she had also ripped him up one side and down the other when he had tried to explain that he had only wanted to show her the sunrise from a beautiful Scottish hillside he liked. Needless to say it hadn't succeeded and had only left him with a bruised ego and chin from the fall on the stairs and a red handprint on his cheek from a red-headed beauty with a strong right arm.

"I guess this is it until I see you breakfast…?" he said it as though it was a question, not a statement.

Lips twitching again, Lily nodded and said just as timidly, "Yes, and I'll be sure to save you a seat in Defense. Goodnight."

Mutely he handed her bag to her, which she grasped firmly, and then applied a chaste kiss goodnight to her soft lips. Reluctantly he pulled away and watched as she ascended to her room she shared with her dorm mates.

His head spinning, James pondered all the happenings that had occurred because of one silly nightmare. James didn't think he'd ever complain about nightmares ever again, if _these_ were the kind of results he'd get because of them.

Not only had he confessed his sincere adoration for one Miss Lily Evans, but she had come clean that she too liked him too, and not thought him an insensitive "toerag" anymore. Would miracles never cease? He couldn't believe that she had noticed all that stuff about him. Had he really been that transparent when it came to the changes of his persona? He didn't think the death of his parents affected him that much, for he thought he'd been moving things slowly, as not to alarm anyone. He'd have to think of that later, he supposed. But at the moment he was happy to relive those brief but happy moments he'd just had with his _girlfriend__. _Hopefully he'd be collecting many more happy ones in the very near future. Yes, this would only be the beginning of a really great thing.


End file.
